Loneley

I sat there and smoked a half a cigarette 

Knees drawn up to my chest 

Black tears streaming down my face 

Like a goddamn movie character 

And I thought 

If anyone walks by they’ll think 

I’m having a breakdown 

Or my lover just told me he doesn’t 

anymore 

But there’s no lover to be betrayed by 

No one to mourn 

Just a girl 

Who wants to evaporate into the cigarette smoke 

with it 

A girl

Who thinks maybe she should increase her medication 

And now is living in the space between everything she thought she knew 

And the character she created 

Tell me she whispers to the cigarette 

If your so dammed cancerous 

Why is it so easy to buy you at every convenience store?

You can have cancer delivered

Did you know?

Handed a receipt 

As if to say 

Here’s your participation in your own demise 

You bought it 

 But couldn’t even be bothered to go outside 

To get it

“Well,” I say to cigarette 

As it begins to rain 

“It’s either you 

Or me 

Let’s see whose more cancerous 

To the other 

Lets see who finishes who 

First.”