Then You

For Isaac:

Before I had to beg,

I had to get on my knees

but not to pray 

held someone’s hand while they walked away

Then you walked out from nothing

As if flown through the air

And I hid from you for so long

I was of afraid what you would think when you found me there.

You would take midnight runs-

Just to pass by my house 

And I thought if I let you in

The sooner you would leave – the sooner I could recover

So I called you over

you stopped dead on my doorstep—

wouldn’t come in but refused to go

Then you said you wanted to take it slow 

And I fell on my knees

To worship and pray 

I know love is a condition 

but I need you to stay

Have you noticed how I can’t seem to meet your eyes sometimes?

They are much much too kind- for me

I’m afraid they will look to far into mine and see what I’ve seen

What I’ve done 

Who I am

What I am

But then you hold my hand 

and help me swallow my pride that I thought was sin- 

You tell me to love is to know

And that you want me to let you in 

I never knew holding someone’s hand in the daylight

could be more intimate 

Then undressing in the lamplight 

I thought to love was to worship 

I thought to love was to hurry 

I thought to love was whispering secrets in the night 

Knowing they would be forgotten by morning 

I thought to love was to walk away 

I thought to love was to go from “know” to “knew”

But then you, 

Then you,