Ready, Set, Stop
THE FIRST POEM IN THE ADAMS SERIES
Ready set
Stop
But don’t go
Holding you
Is like grasping onto a memory
I clutch so tight
And bury my face into your chest
I tell you I love you as you press kisses into my face
You ask
Do you love me
Or the idea of me
I kiss you hard
but
I don’t answer
After years of absence and the shock
Of you reappearing from your great disappearing act
To now here
In bed
Tispey,
With Not too many reservations
I realize
I love the memory
I love the ghost
And I say it now for all the times when I couldn’t
When you were 17 and wild and angry
And our whole lives revolved around pretending to be free
Back then everything made us laugh
And you brought me flowers and chocolates when i was broken up with
And you came and got me drunk from a club
You said we’d be best friends forever
Pinky promises and late night drives
But like a magician afraid of his own act
You left the stage early
With the rabbit still in the hat
And me lying there cut in two
Everyone looking at me in pieces
Now in bed you said we still know each other
We just need to iron out the wrinkles
Of all the years misplaced
But I don’t think they are wrinkles
I think they are scars
Of things we’ll never be able to explain
To each other
Of growing up and turning into new people
Of all the times I needed you
But you weren’t there
And I don’t want to be your scapegoat
Someone to make you feel better about your loss
Your indecision, and your heartache
someone you love just for fun
Who you use to remind yourself someone loved you when you
were young
We are no longer 17
I’ve become the wild one
And you are still angry
But now asking for safety
When I need to be free
And we don’t seem to laugh anymore
Like we used to
Instead We kiss desperately
As if tying to make up for the lost years
But tonight
Tonight
I want to sleep in my own bed
And I want to sleep alone
These wrinkles can’t be ironed out
With soft words and hands that need
and whispers of
I want you bad
The words we whispered
turn to smoke
In the morning
And it’s my turn to disappear
Hold up the rabbit and stop the show
Where’d the magician go?
Now one knows
Ready
set
stop
I have to go
